So Yeni Şafak, Turkey's pro-government Islamist daily, has accused me personally of leading a cabal of former — mostly Jewish — officials to plan the Istanbul unrest months ago. Prime Minister Recep Tayyip Erdoğan can't even get Jewish conspiracies right: doesn't he know that on Sundays, we control the banks. On Mondays, we control the newspapers. On Tuesdays, we think about how we can stage terrorist attacks and blame al Qaeda. On Wednesdays, we attend meetings with George Soros to discuss interest rates. On Thursdays, we plan atrocities and then order the international media to broadcast cooking shows so no one need see the violence. On Fridays, we hunt Christian children so we can use their blood to make matzoh. On Saturdays, exhausted, we rest.
Seriously, though. The Yeni Şafak report harms Turkey's image. It reads like something out of an Iranian or Hamas newspaper. If Erdoğan wants to know who is causing these protests, all he needs to do is look in the mirror.